Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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