what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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