look no pants
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
