he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
