Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Your cock deserves a montage
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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