Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
