nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
