i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
