Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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