Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
