idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
