if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
