My hand turned me down
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
