hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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