i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
