I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
