dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
