I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Randomize
