Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
