So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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