my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
