just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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