Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize
