Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
