haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
