My pussy is not your playground.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
