Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
