Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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