fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
