So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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