I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
