i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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