I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
