He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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