You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Life is so much better after having sex.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
