So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
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I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
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Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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