I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
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