My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
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Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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