She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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