Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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