In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
