at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
