I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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