Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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