If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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