Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
