Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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