So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
