are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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