how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
