after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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