it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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