shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
