She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
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The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
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I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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