why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
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You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
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Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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