like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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