I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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