i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
