and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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