Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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