as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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