I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Dear god my vagina.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
