why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
